Lifeguarding Skills Applied to Parenting

No we did not have an incident at the pool that needed lifeguarding skills.

When I was in high school I worked as a lifeguard at the YMCA. One of their policies was to enforce rules with positive redirection. Instead of saying, "No running!" they encourage you to say, "Walk please!" Instead of "No diving!" say, "Feet first only!"

It took a little bit of getting used to, but it made complete sense, after all, "No running!" left open a variety of other options (skipping, sliding, dancing, jumping) and "Walk please!" was clear and to the point.

Positive redirection stayed with me and frankly kept me quite sane when I worked 40+ hours at my daycare job and now as a parent. I think it may have saved me from having 15 2 -3 year olds screaming "NO!" at me all day long because they were mimicking me. Here are a few phrases I've learned to switch in my daily interaction with my kids:

"No whining!" - "Happy heart please!"
"No hitting!" - "Be loving please!"
"No yelling!" - "Inside voice please!"

Even saying "No thank you" instead of "No!" I think has helped my kids minimize their "NO!" stage in life (notice I said "minimize").

I've been surprised by this lifeguarding skill's most recent application. As my boys get to the age where they are playing together instead of just next to each other I often hear:

"STOP! STOP! STOP!"
"NO!"
(SCREAM)
"DON'T, DON'T, DON'T"
"I HAD THAT FIRST!"



There have been many opportunities to teach both my four year old and two year old the old lesson "you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar." They're still learning, but everyday it seems to get better as they realize that yelling at each other is extremely unproductive.

Jackson is learning to tell Micah what he wants instead of yelling about what he doesn't want him to do. Instead of, "Micah, don't do that!" I'm hearing "Micah how about you play with this toy instead of taking mine away?"