Potty Training

Okay ... I haven't been actively potty training Jackson for a while now, but I wanted to be sure that I wrote down what we did before my memory got fuzzy about my methods. I know each child is so different when it comes to potty training, but I'm hoping it goes as smoothly with Micah as it did with Jackson when the time comes.

How did we decide when to start?

First of all I want to say that I used to work at a daycare and saw all different kinds of "potty trainees." If there is one thing I learned from that experience it's that it HAS to be the child's idea NOT the parents. If a child does not have a concept of the difference between pee and poop and cannot tell you when they have done either in their diaper than they are most likely NOT ready.

That being said, when Jackson around 18 months old my friend, Rachel, was done using her potty chair with her little girl and graciously passed it on to me.

Of all of the potty chairs that Jackson has used the "Safety First Potty Chair and Step Stool" (pictured above) worked the best. Some of the other potty chairs had splash guards that were too short and if Jackson sat the wrong way pee would end up on the floor. The seat also snapped easily on to just about any toilet without sliding around.

I put the potty chair in the bathroom and whenever I would go potty I'd encourage Jackson to sit on it too. I didn't push it or anything. If he wanted to sit he could if he didn't he didn't have to.

Around the same time Jackson was telling me when he went poop in his diaper. If he came to me saying, "Poopy Mommy! Poopy!" I'd get all excited and encourage him to go and sit on the potty chair (note: I left his diaper and all of his clothes on). Again, I did NOT force him. Most the time he'd sit on it for a second or two and then get off. After I changed his diaper, if the poop was solid enough, I'd dump the poop into the potty and let Jackson flush it down.

Then around 20 months Jackson started telling me that he was poopy and there was no poop in his diaper. Again, I'd encourage him to sit on the potty chair in his clothes and diaper. After a few times of him pooping in his diaper immediately after sitting on the potty chair we started attempting to sit on the potty without clothes or a diaper. Thus officially starting potty training.

To be honest I didn't really want to start potty training Jackson so young. It was February or March and it was still cold. I was hoping to start potty training in June around his 2nd birthday so that I didn't have to deal with the layers of winter clothes. It was also really early in my pregnancy with Micah and I wasn't looking forward to dumping poop in the potty while feeling sick (although, I'd have to change the poopy diapers, so I'm not sure that was a good argument). BUT, I knew that I had to jump at the chance of potty training if Jackson was interested, and he was.

How did we begin potty training?

Jackson was much more interested in going poop on the potty than pee. He never told me when he went pee in his diaper and rarely went pee in the potty chair. So, we kept him in a diaper. I put him on the potty chair in the morning right after he woke up, right before nap time, when he woke up from nap time and right before bed time regardless if he told me he had to go or not. I, of course, also put him on the potty whenever he said he had to go.

The key for Jackson was to get him to stay on the potty as long as his little attention span could handle it and he would eventually go poop (especially in the morning). We read A LOT of books!!!!

I'm also not ashamed to admit that there were times that we ate meals on the toilet too. I know that sounds gross, but we especially did this when Jackson had to go potty in the middle of a meal and we needed to be somewhere or it was too close to nap time or bed time.

As long as I stayed in the bathroom with Jackson while he was on the potty he had no qualms about staying on as long as it took to go poop (I know this may be a problem with Micah seeing as my attention will be divided).

When did we switch to underpants?

Another lesson that I picked up from the daycare was that pull ups are a waste of money for most children. Let's face it, they're diapers and the children know that they are diapers and they are more likely to poop and pee in them like a diaper. It's DEFINITELY more convenient for a parent to clean up since you just throw them away, but I'm not certain they helped any of the kids I potty trained at the daycare.

Around 22 months we moved to Santa Maria, California and Jackson was pooping consistently in the potty seat snapped on the regular toilet (that was REALLY nice for the still slightly nauseous mommy). So, we decided to switch to underpants during the day and diapers during naps and at night. We even went shopping for new underpants together. I was hoping that he'd have a few peeing accidents in his underpants, hate being wet and decide he would just use the potty. WISHFUL THINKING!!

Did we use bribery?

Jackson could care less if he had wet his pants and I was determined not to go back to diapers. SO, I started using incentives ... okay I'll just call it what it is .... bribery. We made a chart with the days of the week listed on it in rows, nothing fancy, and he got a sticker on the chart if he sat on the potty. He also got one fruit snack for peeing and one for pooping.

Once Jackson understood the chart I took him to the potty about every hour to two hours. The point of that was not to train Jackson, but to train me. By taking him every hour or so for about five days I was able to pick up on his routine of when he really needed to go to the bathroom. Once I had an idea of when Jackson needed to use the bathroom I started taking him only during those times.

Note: I wanted to create an incentive that I could keep up with and that I could easily wean him from eventually. That's why we didn't do toys as an incentive. Fruit snacks were cheap and once I felt like he got the hang of going potty the fruit snacks "ran out."

When did we start using underpants at night and for naps?

When Jackson started to consistently wake up in the morning and from naps with a dry diaper we put him in underpants. He did have a few accidents, but only a handful. HOWEVER, I will note that that was also the time when Jackson started waking up in the middle of the night crying.

After doing some research I discovered that that was Jackson's body's way of telling him he needed to use the bathroom, but he was too young to understand the message. So, when he'd wake up crying we'd taking him to the bathroom in the dark and then he'd go back to sleep for the rest of the night without a peep.

He cried out in the middle of the night for several weeks (not every night though) and as he got older and his bladder got larger and stronger he stopped waking up in the night to go to the bathroom.

When did we stop using the potty chair on the potty?

For awhile Jackson was scared to go on the potty if the little potty chair was not on the big potty. I don't really blame him. He hadn't gotten the hang of holding himself up and he really liked to look at books while he was on the potty. We even traveled with the potty seat. We slowly taught him how to hold himself up on the toilet and eventually he even came up with his own way of getting on the potty by himself. That's when we decided he didn't need the potty seat anymore.

How long did it take to not have any accidents?

Accidents happen! Sometimes they happen because Jackson is too busy playing and doesn't want to stop to go to the bathroom. Sometimes they happen because we're in a public place and he picks up my vibe of being grossed out by the bathrooms (I sanitize the toilet like CRAZY when I take him in a public restroom). Sometimes they happen because he's sick and I'm pumping him full of fluids to help him get better. Sometimes they happen because I forget to remind him to go to the bathroom. Sometimes they happen because he's still 2 (almost 3) and doesn't have the bladder control of an adult.

When I know that we may encounter one of the above scenarios I try to nip it in the bud and I do my best to make sure Jackson goes to the bathroom.

HOWEVER, I NEVER make a big deal about accidents. We sit on the potty, change his clothes and go back to playing. In my opinion, accidents are not a reason to discipline a child. If Jackson LIES to me about not needing to go to the bathroom when he really does THAT'S a different story, but then he's not being disciplined for the accident, but rather for lying.

I ALWAYS make a big deal about when he uses the potty. When he first started potty training the praises were for sitting on the potty chair clothed and now they are for taking the initiative to go potty all by himself.